How to Empower Yourself and Others with Empathy
Your human capacity is boundless
Jean Edelman: Wonderful to be with you today. Today I want to talk about empathy. Most days, the harshness of life is when others are judging us. The judgment comes from close mindedness and not having empathy for others. When we judge another, we are missing the most important part of the equation: the other person's history and personal path.
I recently had an experience that I do wish to share because it was something due to my asthma and my bronchitis earlier this year. I wear a mask. I wear a mask to protect my lungs. Well, we happened to be out of town and I went into a food store and I chose all my items and I was at checkout. And this clerk, I noticed all of a sudden she was throwing my items to the end of the bagging area, not even attempting to bag them. People are starting to collect behind me and that's making me nervous. So I quickly put my credit card in the machine and then I run around to the bagging area and I start bagging all the groceries that I just picked out. It was very surreal because I actually didn't say anything. I'm just watching this woman throw my items.
I'm watching people collect behind me and I'm watching them watch me to see how I'm going to react to all of this. I was getting a little nervous about it. Once I bagged everything up, she literally threw the receipt at me. And oh, to add to that, because I was bagging, I didn't pull my credit card out. She literally threw the credit card at me. So it really was quite upsetting at the moment.
Here I am trying to protect my lungs because I have asthma and this bronchitis that I'm still trying to heal from, and here this person doing her job is judging me, judging me because I'm wearing a mask and then choosing to react to it. I could see if she had an opinion, but she didn't have to throw my groceries, make me bag, and then throw my receipt and credit card at me. When I got home, I did call the store manager and had a nice chat there.
So here's the action item for the week. Can we just check in with ourselves? Are we passing judgment on someone? Can we stop and ask ourselves why? Can we stop and try to see the situation through their eyes? Now, it's first quarter of the year and there's not that much Covid around, but there are still people wearing masks. And if it was a kind, compassionate person, maybe they just would have said, “Hey, I hope you're feeling better or hope you're feeling okay,”… because obviously there's a reason why I was wearing a mask.
I ask that when we stop and we think and we try to evaluate the situation, are we treating others as we wish to be treated? That's the big question in all interactions with all people.
So my word of the week is to SEE.
The S is to See, to see the world through the other person's eyes. Treat others as we wish to be treated.
The E is to Engage. You know what? Start a conversation, ask some questions. All people love to talk about themselves. They'll be happy to tell the story. And then we can say, Oh, now I understand.
And the other E is for Easy, to be easy with others and ourselves. What is so important that we must ruin someone's day because we are judging them?
As I reflect on the moment, I can't imagine what others were thinking as that person was being so rude. Let us have empathy. Let us stop and think and ask some questions and try to see through the other person's eyes, the other person's journey. This person made me sad and that was really unfair to affect my day that way. So let's think about how we're treating people and how we're making them feel.
Have a great week everyone and have empathy.
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