Should Your Parents Still be Driving?

How to assess their fitness behind the wheel

Ric Edelman: It's Tuesday, February 13th. My uncle is 95 years old and my cousin just last month took away his car keys. Uncle Al's losing his memory. He's getting more frail. He wasn't happy about what Julie did, but luckily he kept forgetting where he put his car keys. Now he doesn't even remember that Julie has sold the car. We always worry about teen drivers. They're aggressive, distracted, and inexperienced. But what we don't often think about is that adults 65 plus are responsible for more than 8,200 traffic deaths a year, and that number is rising 15% annually. Because everybody keeps getting older, we now have more and more people, more and more old people, on the road.  

How do you decide it's time for your parents to stop driving? First, look at their vehicle. Are there any scrapes and dents? Look at the mirrors too. Are they hitting mailboxes or curbs? If they're banging into walls or parked cars, they're losing their depth perception, and drivers who start getting into minor accidents are the people who eventually get into major ones. After you look at the car, look at their medicine cabinet. Lots of meds affect your ability to drive, and new meds or new dosages can change your habits or abilities as well. And when you're looking at your parent's prescriptions, look at their eyeglass prescription too. Our vision changes as we age, so find out the last time they saw an eye doctor with macular degeneration, for example, they could have blind spots literally not being able to see a car or a pedestrian.  

After you look at the vehicle and their medicine, look at them. Are they shuffling their feet? Walking slowly? This means they won't have a good reaction time when they drive. And if your parent has mild cognitive impairment, let alone dementia or Alzheimer's, take the car keys. With cognitive impairment, they can't process information as fast as they used to. Their lack of speed, their lack of reflex can create traffic risks. And finally, if you dare get in the car with them, let them drive. And if that idea scares you, then you already know it's time for them to stop driving.  

Giving up the keys is a monumental thing. You've got to be ready with a replacement solution. Can you or family or friends drive them as they need? Are taxis or Ubers a realistic choice? But in the end, none of that matters. If your parents are a threat to themselves and others and to property, you have a moral obligation to get them off the road. Just imagine how you'd feel if they hurt or killed someone and you had done nothing to prevent it. If you can't get them to voluntarily give up the keys, talk to their doctor. They can write a letter to the DMV, which will often demand that the driver come take a test, and maybe all that's needed to help them realize they cannot keep driving. In the end, do what you have to do. Julie took the keys and then flat-out sold the car. Her dad complains, but as Julie says, she'd rather have him complaining than have him dead.  

And if you're a financial advisor, you need to have this conversation with your clients as they're aging. Are you suspicious that they shouldn't be behind the wheel? Have that conversation with your client, or ask your client for permission to have that conversation with their kids. Thanks for listening to this podcast.  

You might not know that in addition to this show, I'm the guy who created Wealth Management Convergence. It's turning the traditional financial advisor conference model upside down. And if you're a financial advisor, I'm inviting you to join me. It's in West Palm Beach, Florida, March 10 to 12, and it's devoted to giving you the investment strategies you need today in a format unlike any other conference. No breakout sessions, no PowerPoints, only financial advisors and IRA firms can register to attend. You'll learn from some of the most successful people in this business with conversations focused on generative AI, exponential technologies, longevity, estate planning, crypto a whole lot more. You can also sign up for free one-on-one meetings and “Dine-arounds”. This is the conference you've been looking for to help you grow your practice. Plus, you'll get plenty of CE credits. Join me in West Palm Beach, March 10 to 12. Use the link in the show notes to register and enter the discount code WMC2024. You'll save $100. This code is exclusively for financial advisors listening to this podcast. I look forward to seeing you there. 

On tomorrow's podcast. It's Valentine's Day. Aren't you glad I reminded you? And we're going to take a look at love and marriage and babies.  

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